Weird Kind of Sisters
by Souplog
Summary: Kinzie and the Boss have a strange sexual relationship, and for all her intellect, Kinzie can't really define or categorize it. Luckily, the bizarre truth won't stay nebulous forever. Femslash. Such femslash.


"That was as…visceral as ever"

"You asked if I wanted to fuck. That's how I fuck"

"I'm not judging. It's just…wow. You surprise me every time. Is the punch really necessary?"

"It sets the tone. You wanna have sex with me? It's going to be rough"

"What if I want more than that? What if I want to make love to you?"

Kinzie's glare is withering. "You don't know the meaning of the word"

"And you do?"

"Maybe I don't, but I'm not going to pretend that this is anything other than it is"

"And what's that?"

"Fucking"

The boss holds her hands up in acquiescence. "Fine, I get it. Anyway, it was good. Thanks, I really needed to de-stress"

"Yeah, don't mention it"

The Boss raises a confused eyebrow. "Are you mad at me for some reason?"

"What makes you think _that_?"

"I don't know. You just seem a little testy"

"Maybe that's because the Earth is gone and we're all alone in a spaceship while a megalomaniacal alien dictator is bent on our subjugation! Not everything is about you, you know!"

"Jeez, okay. Sorry." The boss hesitates before leaving, hovering at the edge of the cot.

"Is there anything else?"

"N-no. Sorry. I'll leave you alone"

Well that was weird. Kinzie returns to her work. Making love? Love itself? Honestly. A sociopath like the Boss would never understand such things. Not that Kinzie is much better.

* * *

The Boss has a lot of sex. This was true even before the Earth blew up, and is weirdly true after as well. She never really had sex with anyone in her crew, but one would suppose that with all other options permanently removed, one makes do with what one has. What the boss has is: Kinzie, Pierce, Asha, Matt and, for when the boss is feeling just a bit strange, CID.

"Your Boss can go at it like a fucking hamster. She's asked me for sex three times in the last twelve hours"

Kinzie is comfortable with Asha. This isn't that any of the other ship-dwellers make her uncomfortable, but there's just something about the presence of a well-balanced woman to fulfill Kinzie's sisterly needs. They hadn't stayed up watching movies yet, nor had they eaten pizza together, and they certainly hadn't had any really deep, sisterly conversations, but Kinzie just knew they would get there. Small talks about weird sex would be the first step to a lifetime of sisterlyness. No, Kinzie might not quite understand love between two consenting adults; she might not even want it. But what she does yearn is the love of a sister.

"She's like that sometimes," Kinzie responds offhandedly.

"You know I was surprised when she propositioned me the first time"

"Why? Because you aren't technically in the saints?"

"Well there's that"

"Not a real problem. Before Earth blew up most of her meaningless sexual activity occurred with non-members"

"I suppose that isn't much of an option anymore is it?" She says it wistfully. Not a trace of mourning.

"True"

"Anyway, that wasn't what I was talking about"

"What _were_ you talking about?"

Asha hesitates, tapping her foot agitatedly against the floor. Her shoes produce a soft metronomic thud against the metal. Finally: "I feel awkward just mentioning it…"

"Just tell me"

"You know what? Never mind. Forget I said anything"

Ooh, a secret? The best way to establish sisterly bonds is to share secrets! "What is it?" Asks Kinzie, hoping that she isn't coming off too hopeful, "You can tell me"

Asha still looks hesitant. "I don't know…"

"Is it about the boss? You can probably tell me, I know pretty much everything there is to know about her anyway"

"Yeah…um, kind of. I just thought it was kind of weird for her to proposition me because, well, I thought you and she were…you know"

"What?"

"A thing. A couple. *Ahem* Lovers, I suppose"

"What?" If her laptop had sprouted arms and legs and done the Macarena on her lap, Kinzie would not be more surprised. "What the fuck gave you that idea?"

"Hey, don't worry about it. I was clearly wrong, and I shouldn't assume. I didn't mean to make you upset"

"Please, elaborate," Kinzie says through gritted teeth.

"Kinzie…"

"Please!"

"Okay! Okay, well, um, it's just the way she looks at you, you know? Like she's protective"

"She's protective of all of us"

"Yeah, but it's different for you, right? I mean surely you've noticed how she treats you just a little different than everyone else?"

"What? No"

"Well she's just nicer to you. No offense, but she doesn't take your kind of attitude from just anybody"

"My attitude!?"

"Yeah, you can be a tad…erm…prickly"

"Urgh! You don't know what you're talking about!" All werewithal gone, Kinzie storms out of the room in a huff.

"Ah. Well." Asha grimaces, "That went poorly"

* * *

Kinzie seethes, not because she enjoys it, but because she has found out that the boss has slept with Matt Miller. Even if only once, that is a crime Kinzie cannot tolerate.

"Hey Kinzie," Says the boss. She's lying down in her unofficial office, a copy of Benjamin King's book on her lap. "What's up, you wanna- argh!"

Kinzie straddles her before she can react. "Matt Miller!?" She punches the boss square in the face, like she's done so many times before. The impact hurts a little more than it usually does. "Matt fucking Miller!? I knew your standards were low, but to really go for a guy like him-!"

"Gah, Kinzie! Ow! Stop hitting my face for a second"

The boss catches one fist, and then another, until Kinzie is left trying to unsuccessfully wrest her wrists from the Boss's iron grip.

"Why the hell did you sleep with _him_?"

"What's the big deal? We hung out in his fanfiction world, he opened up to me; it was kind of cute"

"He framed me! Got me kicked out of the FBI!"

"Kinzie, that was ages ago!"

"Still!" It doesn't occur to Kinzie, as she wriggles in vain to get free, that the Boss would have punched her out by now if she were anyone else. The Boss however, does recognize this, and puts on an acquiescent tone.

"Shit, if I knew you would be this upset about it I wouldn't have done it. Look, I'm sorry okay? It won't happen again"

Kinzie's struggles lessen in intensity. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Whatever you want"

"Whatever I want?" She takes a deep breath to get rid of the angry jitters. "Alright then." Another deep breath. Calm. She meets the Boss's eyes. "Still can't believe you did it"

"Well you said you weren't in the mood at the time"

"So your first instinct is to immediately go sniff out sex somewhere else? What are you, a dog?"

"I feel like I should have a clever comeback for that, but I don't"

Kinzie rolls her eyes. "Whatever. Next time you get the urge to sleep with a fanfiction-writing nerd, you come to me first. I'll fuck you as many times as you want." She pauses, the meaning of her words sinking in. "I didn't mean that how it sounded"

"Really?" The Boss's is all amusement now. Nothing tentative about it. She bucks upwards, sliding Kinzie off of her solar plexus and onto her waist. She dos it so easily too, like she could have at any time. Strong arms catch Kinzie's backside. "It sounded to me like-"

Another punch to the face, and then Kinzie is all over her. Feverish kisses drown out the Boss's confusion. If she could have shrugged, she would have.

* * *

"I'm not crazy." Says Asha, slumping onto the couch after yet another strenuous workout. She had just finished explaining her assessment of the Boss/Kinzie situation to Pierce, who, though interested, managed a veneer of disaffection by hiding behind his comic book. "You see it too right?"

"Oh yeah, we all see it. But Kinzie…she's just weird about this stuff, so we try not to pry"

"Does the boss have a crush or something?"

Pierce shrugs, flipping a page of his comic book. "Fuck if I know. You're crazy if you think I know how either of their minds work"

"Fair point"

Kinzie listens to them through the surveillance network hooked to her laptop, annoyed that people talk about her behind her back. They don't understand her, just like they can't understand the Boss. Hell, _she_ doesn't even understand the Boss. The Boss doesn't really treat her any different than them others, does she? Her brow scrunches in concentration, doubt. No, it couldn't be.

Then again, Kinzie knows she isn't good at reading in between the lines when it comes to personal relationships. This wouldn't be the first time the vagaries of personal relationships have escaped her. Should she be paying better attention? It's not like the Boss is easy to figure out. Kinzie may boast that she knows more about the Boss than anyone else (including her first name) but even then she is a mystery.

But while anything is possible when it comes to that particular sociopath (puckish rogue), the fact that she may be infatuated with Kinzie is just too far-fetched a possibility to take seriously.

Still, it is an oddly pleasant thought; pleasant enough for Kinzie to absentmindedly smile as she works on other things. She's flattered.

"It's not like I'm nice to her or anything," She grumbles.

* * *

"You were much better this time"

"Yeah, you should probably let me do it without handcuffs more often"

"Don't get any ideas. If I find them by the time we do this next, then you're putting them on"

The Boss says nothing, nuzzling Kinzie's neck from behind. "Alright. But I draw the line at the paddles. Once was enough for me"

"That's okay, I can just use my hands"

"Ugh, teacup." Nevertheless the Boss kisses Kinzie on the shoulder.

Kinzie pulls away, yanking the covers to cover her nudity. "Wait a minute, are you cuddling me?"

"Oh, look at that, I guess I am. Come on, everyone does it"

"I don't"

"Didn't it feel nice at all? I know I felt all warm and fuzzy"

"No"

The Boss sighs, a fond smile gracing her lips as she gets off the cot. "Oh well, I'll get you next time then"

Kinzie doesn't answer, turning away on the cot so that her back is to the boss. She wears a troubled expression, and keeps it aimed at the wall. Wouldn't do for her to see her like this. Would it be so bad if she asked the Boss to stay?

She's surprised when soft lips press against her temple. Instead of reacting as angrily as she would have, Kinzie turns her head. She isn't sure if she's smiling or frowning.

"I'll see you later okay?"

Kinzie sees what Asha was talking about. It wasn't obvious before, but the Boss isn't exactly being subtle anymore. Kinzie's jaw clenches. Her heart clenches (her figurative heart; if it were her literal one then that wouldn't be good). Kinzie has never been good at reading between the lines when it comes to her own feelings.

* * *

Kinzie hears everything that goes on in the ship. She can't help it; surveillance is in her nature. She sees Matt's bumbling come-ons to Asha; she sees Shaundi and Fun Shaundi chat on the terminal; she sees Pierce getting up the courage to ask CID to do that thing that "everyone is talking about." Pierce is not disappointed, though he keeps his eyes to the floor for hours afterwards.

The Boss doesn't have nearly as much sex as she used to.

Maybe it's like a drug for her; like killing and, well, actual drugs. She has to wean herself off of it. She weans herself off Shaundi and Asha and Pierce until people other than Kinzie start to notice. The Boss is still her happy, sociopathic self; she's just having a lot less sex. Well, a lot less sex with anyone other than Kinzie.

The Boss comes to her often. For a while she used the whole Matt thing to get more sex out of her ("Oh no! Kinzie! Feeling…weak! Must...jump…Matt's…bones!"). Kinzie knows it's a trick, but she gets too angry to care. She's extra rough then, pulling out all the stops (and straps). She fucks the Boss on and against any surface of the ship she can find. The others make sure to be well enough away as they clear tables and knock over cabinets and rectangular alien doohickeys. Flesh slaps against cold metal and Kinzie's hand slaps against the Boss's ass. It gets to the point where Kinzie wonders if the Boss is the needy one, or if she is.

But she isn't soft. She can't let herself be. She can't stand how the others look at her, like she's some tsundere, shy type that can't face her own feelings. She knows her own feelings, and she isn't infatuated in the least. Inordinately attracted perhaps, but not infatuated.

But yes, she is willing to admit (albeit only to herself) that she is, in some capacity, special to the Boss. She doesn't mind the fact. Why should she? They're friends, nothing more.

"It's just fucking, got it? That's all this is"

The Boss's hurt expression stings them both. "Yeah, got it"

And then they rescue Jonny Gat.

She overhears what she says to him; heartfelt words that spill from a lungs too lousy with lies and innuendo to seem real. The Boss doesn't seem like herself. Is this a confession of love? It certainly seems that way when Jonny interrupts her with a kiss. It's like a friggin' romantic comedy how captivated they are with each other.

Kinzie makes herself watch them having sex, if only to make sense of the feeling she gets when she watches them together, like her stomach is sinking and trying to take her heart and lungs with it. They love each other; it's painfully obvious. Even Kinzie can see it. They revel in each other's presence, and tap into each other's sense of competition. They last a ridiculously long time. It doesn't even seem humanly possible but they do it. Kinzie has to fast forward though an hour just to finish the viewing in one sitting.

The Boss is immeasurably satisfied after that; a goofy smile on her face. Jonny just seems exhausted, propping hiself against a wall and sleeping for half a day. Kinzie is…numb. Just numb.

Not so special after all.

"Hey Kinzie, wanna fuck?"

The Boss braces herself for the punch, but it doesn't come.

"Huh?"

"Not now, I'm busy"

"Oh. How about later ten?"

"Yeah I'll probably be busy later too"

The Boss's jaw tightens. "Um, okay? I'll just get going then"

"Yeah. Do that"

Not so special after all. Kinzie keeps her eyes to the wiring of the console in front of her. Her hands are scabbed from minor shocks and scratches. Even that is numb. She grimaces.

"Hey was it something I said, or-?"

"Get out of here!"

The Boss ducks away, mumbling apologies.

* * *

When the Boss rescues Kinzie from that 1950's nightmare, the first thing Kinzie does is punch her in the face.

"Don't you dare tell anyone what you saw! Anyone!"

Whatever angry follow-up she had for that is immediately cut off as the Boss pulls her into her arms and squeezes so hard that Kinzie's ribs hurt.

"Gah!"

The grip lessens, and the Boss buries her nose in Kinzie's shoulder.

"God, I thought I lost you. You really fuckin' scared me you know that?"

The other saints look away, suddenly finding other things to do outside of the room. Kinzie is vaguely aware that they linger at the edge of the doorways, trying hard not to look like they're eavesdropping.

"Hey!" Kinzie slaps her hand against the Boss's back. "Let go! People are staring"

The Boss squeezes just a bit tighter. Her shoulders are shaking and she keeps shaking her head.

"Come on Boss," Kinzie's forces her voice to be less harsh. "I'm fine! You can let go." The Boss's shoulders start to shudder. Kinzie's voice takes an uncharacteristically gentle tone. "O-okay you're really starting to scare me now"

No coherent answer, though the Boss mumbles variations of "You fucking scared me," and "I'm really fucking glad you're safe."

"Are you _crying_?"

"I'm not fucking crying. Just give me a moment okay?"

"Alright! Alright"

The stand like this, Kinzie's cheek pressed uncomfortably against the Boss's neck. The other woman can't stop shaking.

"So, uh, how- how long are we going to stay like this?"

"Until I'm fucking done, that a problem!?"

"No! No…"

There's no response to this. Kinzie curses the Boss for making her feel special again. She wraps her thin arms around the Boss's torso and closes her eyes.

* * *

"Okay seriously, what the fuck am I to you?"

"Huh?"

"You treat me all special, and I get in my head that I mean something to you, but then you go and start sleeping with Jonny fucking Gat. I don't get it"

"I haven't fucked Jonny since that night"

"Oh so you don't deny you did it?! Even though you had me!"

"Wait a minute, are you jealous?"

"N-" And then Kinzie realizes that yes, she was jealous. She was jealous and angry the whole time. "Yeah, maybe? I- Don't turn this around on me!"

"Why not? Every time we slept together you kept reminding me that there was nothing between us, and then you go and ask me a question like this? You sure know how to play with a girl's emotions"

"Are you saying you like me?"

The Boss leans in closer, backing Kinzie up against the wall. The smaller woman does not budge. "Maybe I'm saying I love you"

"You don't know the meaning of the word"

"Neither do you. You've told me that a bunch of times. So how would you know?"

Kinzie doesn't have an answer to that question.

The Boss leans back slightly. "What are you to me?" She looks to be thinking about the question. "I've always kind of thought of you as a my little sister"

Kinzie is rendered speechless.

"I mean, yeah, we have sex a lot, so not like literal sisters. But more like weird, incestuous, metaphorical ones? Wow, I didn't phrase that right. Okay, I haven't thought about this much. I just know I care about you. A lot. I want to snuggle with you, and braid your hair, and all that other weird shit you're into"

"You're kidding right? You want us to be sisters?"

"I kinda thought we already were"

Tempted to bring her palm to her face, Kinzie instead brings her arms around the Boss's waist and pulls herself close; close enough to bury her face in the Boss's impressive cleavage.

Of course the Boss wouldn't have a proper concept of what a sister is, but it's just like her to unwittingly press all the right buttons. Kinzie is charmed despite herself, and a little pissed off about it. But as she takes in the Boss's presence, and feels the Boss hug her in turn, she realizes that, yes, this isn't at all what she has in mind when she thinks of a sisterly hug, but it does feel nice, and if she was ever going to love anyone it would be someone she could call sister.

And yes, it's a weird, incestuous metaphorical sister, but that doesn't seem so bad right now.

"What about Jonny?"

What _about _Jonny?"

"Don't you two have a thing?"

"Yeah. He's my best friend"

"I mean beyond that. You obviously care enough about him to have sex for as long as you did"

"You were watching that? Pervert. Yeah I care about him. Of course I do. But I wouldn't fuck him again"

"Why not?"

"I don't know. That one night was like …me getting rid of years of mourning. Cathartic, you know? All I needed was the one time"

"Oh." Well there's that case closed. Kinzie closes her eyes, savoring the feeling of calm she feels in this moment.

"So, uh, wanna fuck, or…?"

Of _course_ the Boss couldn't just let them enjoy a moment. "You stay faithful to me, got it!?"

"Yes ma'am"

"Then yes. We can fuck. And afterwards we're going to watch a movie while eating pizza and braiding each other's hair"

"Yes ma'am!"

* * *

Asha makes her way down the hallway of the Zin flagship, walking with purpose. She only pauses as she catches a glimpse of Jonny Gat through one of the doorways. "Er, Jonny?" She says, relived to find a human for once. "Do you know where Kinzie is? Matt wants to talk to her about the new interim protocol…sub-routine…thingies…"

He presses his fingers to his eyelids, probably getting himself straightened out after plugging out of the simulation. "You don't know what you're talking about do you?"

"God no. It's something to do with the simulation. Reconstruction of the human race and all that"

"I thought Kinzie was heading that?"

"She was, but she's nowhere to be found, so Matt and Shaundi are driving themselves crazy trying to figure things out"

"Oh. Well I don't know about any of that, but Kinzie's a little occupied right now. With the Boss, if you catch my meaning"

"Ugh. They're at it _again_?"

"Yep"

"What do they even get up to in there? It can't all be sex. That's physically impossible"

He shakes his head. "I walked in on them one time and…I still don't know what I saw"

The both take a moment to shudder.

"Anyway," Says Asha, "If you see them afterwards, tell them they're needed"

"Yeah, we'll be waiting for a while then"

* * *

"Where the fuck did you even find pajamas? All the pajamas should be blown up"

"The Zin have very impressive manufacturing technology. Getting these was no problem at all. Why? Do they not fit?"

"It's not that they don't fit, it's that this is just really, really, really fucking weird"

"You promised you would do it"

"Can't we just be naked? We're going to have sex at some point anyway"

"This is important to me!"

The Boss heaves a giant sigh. "Fine"

"And don't be lazy with the hair-braiding. It was really sloppy last time"

"Yes ma'am"

"Now what do you want to watch? Nyte Blade? Xena Warrior Princess?"

"Is "neither" an option?"

Kinzie _tsks_ in annoyance, but takes a moment to consider. "Well we can just sit and talk"

"Great! I'll go with that then"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"What are we supposed to talk about?"

"I don't know! I figured this would be a more organic process"

"I think I would be more amenable to talking if…" She presses her lips against Kinzie's neck. Her hands hike up the hem of Kinzie's shirt, groping her breasts, and pinching her nipples in that rough way she knows Kinzie likes.

"St-stop it. This comes later"

"But Kinzie, we can do it while watching Xena"

Kinzie whimpers as the episode starts playing.

"And later," The Boss leans forward to whisper into Kinzie's ear, "We can do each other's nails"

"Hnng…Oh God…"

"And…if you make me particularly satisfied…we can use the paddle"

"Can we use the butt-plug too?"

"No! Just the paddle"

"Please? You'll make me so happy. Ah!" The Boss's finger trail along the outer folds of Kinzie's vagina.

"I don't think you realize how uncomfortable it is. You never have to wear it"

Kinzie turns, putting on her "little sister pout." "Pleeeeease?"

"Gah! Fine. Just this once though"

And with that the Boss stops teasing and plunges her fingers against Kinzie's G-spot. "Oh God!" She yells, already beyond restraining her voice, "I love you! I really fucking love you!"

"Just remember that when you've got me tied to the bed later"

Kinzie can do nothing but shiver and whimper.

"Yeah, I love you too"


End file.
